Do you know, its said that marriage gives you a life partner, but I became lonely and then empty, all that in a period of 1 month. I have heard that newly weds could not stay away from each other because of the new germinating passion. Which is good, as its the time to build strong bondings. However, My case was again different.
Though I never wanted to get married. I was not against marriage but it was a matter of personal preference for me. I never ever wanted to be known by someone’s identity. I rater wanted to have my own. But this marriage took my entire identity away during the course of marriage ceremony. And the very next day I was Mrs. Someone. I was no longer allowed to take my life decisions and even banned to decide when can I meet my parents with whom I stayed for 27 long years of my life. It hurt. Yes it did, it hurt more that the pleasure of having someone official in my life.
I am an introvert, which made it even more difficult as I was, consciously or unconsciously, being judged at my new home – my in-laws place…
I became vulnerable the very second day of my arrival at new home. I could not see my mother, no brother, no father, no family even and every one else was so happy, cheerful. Every one was good and expected me to be happy as well. Though I smiled, but that place was like a prison to me having everyone around with strange faces I had never seen before. I had my husband but I could not communicate to him out of the fear of new
The situation was like a desert where there is no water but people around and I don’t know their language so cannot ask for water.
Like every other bride, I drank my own tears and stood up and started learning their language so that if not today , may be tomorrow I will be able to communicate with them and make my life better.
Having a husband in a new home is just like an expensive branded dress which cannot be worn at all occasions. There was never a “comfortable dress” to sooth the feeling of standing helplessly under the scorching sun.
The old family faded as if the responsibility is delivered, new family remains a stranger and I was left all alone by fortune helpless, voiceless, without any authority.
During all these time, I had someone by my side emotionally , the person was miles apart, not physically present. He cannot do anything to reduce my pain but he was always there to listen to my pain with concentration. He not only listened but also encouraged me to share my emotions. “If not he then who ?”, I cannot imagine anyone. He was a saviour and held me tight emotionally, if not I would definitely have undergone an emotional breakdown due to every second killing helplessness of the new bride in the family…
The gratitude I have for him is beyond words and I will never ever be able to repay his favor. Truly said – the most precious gift you can give someone is your tome , and he gave me that. You will remain in my mind and heart for being a drop of water for a barren land.
Thank you so much. You not only herd the unsaid but you also reminded me of my good days to keep the light of life burning inside me and inspire me to not to give up. You beyond a friend to me , an Angel.
Though I am still lonely but not unheard…