I am on that stage if life where I want to be single and enjoy my life being independent. I love my freedom like you. I am happy being single. My life is happening and it has no regrets as of now! I am rejoicing each moment of my life, even my mistakes. Yes, obviously, I break down when it is just not my day, but still my life is just perfect. Yeah, I have ambitions as well and I chase my dreams though at this point of time I could not request God for more.
Somehow, my broadening smile and a hint of wrinkle has put my parents into a pressure of finding me a perfect soulmate. I belong to a typical Indian Family where having a boyfriend is something that still “Sanskari Ladki” should not do. So, my parents took the charge of finding me a Good “Sanskaari Ladka”
And let me tell you how this is done. Firstly, even before my parents think of my marriage, my relative will be worried about my growing age and single hood like hell. As if they are jealous of my parent’s thinking that how could they be so modern to not to think about getting their daughter married even in the age of 23! They would start suggesting all the random guys saying that he has got a hell lot of property and bank balance. Dude! Am I to find a partner for rest of my life or a bank balance to keep in safe and locks?
This continued until I reached 24, then I got a grey hair all thanks to my free love for pizza & burger. Yes, the right time to search for a groom. “If not now, then when”, having this saying back of the mind, my parents started searching for my soulmate full throttle. They went for well-educated, good looking, decent earning high standard family where my in laws will allow me to follow my dreams.
They got some good options as well but they had their dowry demands. My parents were obviously not against dowry as they considered it a tradition and important because it enhances the chances of respect of bride in her in law’s family. Unfortunately, these decent dowry families could not fit in my parent’s pocket. Then they realized out of nowhere and finally agreed to my clause of marriage, i.e, no dowry. I reached 25 by the time the learning came and now I have put on some extra inchs on my thighs. Above all, the society (I do not know who these people are) behaved as I am 40 and if I don’t get married this year, I am not going to get any man.
Having experienced the nitty-gritty of Indian arranged marriage conversation, especially the budget, my parents got the idea of the groom market and the business of it. Now they are searching for a guy who could fit in their pocket and their choices doesn’t burn out a hole in the family’s pocket and should be earning enough so that we can be living comfortable. If the family is good and the guy is good looking then that would be icing on the cake. I will be 26 in about 3 months and eagerly waiting to see what qualifications the groom will finally lands with.
Most probably, I will end up with a completely stranger about whom I will only be aware that he earns well and the names and status of his family members. I will not have any information about the man that actually matter like his nature, what he enjoys doing most? His biggest fears? Who is he closest? What are his dreams? His past etc. In fact, a complete stranger…
It really feels very funny to me that it is against our culture to have a boyfriend because he is a stranger and at the same time, it is completely safe to promise to spend the entire life with a stranger because it is backed by a 3-4 days long get together called Indian marriage. It is completely safe to make him your king and let him decide whether to pursue your dreams or not. It is completely safe to let him decide for you and at times stop you for those things as well for which your parents never stopped.
It’s funny but I feel that even today having a boyfriend is like having sex before marriage that too in the era of 90s. Though we are modern and women is on the path of empowerment, marriage is still suffocating girl’s dream with the pillow of culture and hollow chastity of her family. Ultimately, be it for any reason, the groom would be the one “if he could fit in the parent’s pocket”